dating over 40

Life Update: Where I have been

Hi y’all! So it’s been awhile since I updated the blog on my life so I thought I would share with whoever still reads this (and I appreciate you!) where I have been. It’s been a lot but I can say I’m still very blessed!

In 2022 I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer. I found out when I had some persistent abdominal pain and visited urgent care. It was discovered I had a large mass in my colon and a small nodule in my lung meaning the cancer has spread. Thankfully after 13 rounds of chemotherapy and 2 major surgeries all the cancer has been removed and I have been cancer free for almost 2 years in April. I am immensely grateful to be here with my family and loved ones and healthy again.

While rebuilding my life after cancer my relationship ended and I focused on myself. I lost weight, had fun with my friends and family & lived and enjoyed life again. I started dating again in October 2023 and in November I met the man that I would go on to marry. Yes I’m a (re)married woman now! Lol. My husband and I married in November of last year and it’s been great although something I’ve been getting used to because your girl was single for a long time!

And now 3 of the 4 several people (my children) are grown and we’ve added 2 bonus children (twins! My stepchildren) and my grandson who will be 1 year old in April. I am so grateful and happy to see my family grow!

So I share this update to let you know things can get better. With trust in God, and surrendering to His plan your life can do a complete 180. I am grateful for the hand He had on my life from leading me and blessing me to a great medical team to sending me a husband who truly loves and adores me & mine. Know that circumstances do not matter and are only temporary. It starts with you believing, keeping the faith and loving yourself. I know that sounds corny, I used to think so too but it really is the truth. Ask me how I know!

Love Ricki

What to Wear?

Dress: Forever 21 (Here in other colors) Shoes: Zara (no longer available)

So today I thought I would share a simple date night look with y’all. Let me first say being seasoned and dating is very interesting! There are a lot of things that have changed since my younger days. And unfortunately actually going out on a real date doesn’t happen like it used to. I won’t comment here but check out my instastories on IG where I talk about what I believe a real date is.

So what would a seasoned woman wear on a dinner date? Something slightly trendy, stylish and accentuates your best accents. This dress fit all of that in my opinion! This dress was a winner in my eyes because it was on trend with the button down look, midi length so you don’t show much leg but had some sexiness with the neckline. Now this dress was perfect for ME. As a seasoned woman you should be familiar with your shape, what you feel you look good in and your best assets. My suggestion (and this is totally opinion) but I would wear a dress or skirt that embodies those qualities for the first date. Femininity is a lost art that men still appreciate.

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I also liked this dress because I feel with a tank under I could wear it again for work with some heels or cute slides. You know I always like to get the most bang for my buck! So tell me what would you wear for a first dinner date?

Love Ricki

Things to do besides think about a man!

We have all been there. We were feeling someone and everything was cool and then boom you’re not sure what happened or what went wrong but you are now being ignored or even ghosted. I have said so many times and I will say it again. Match his energy. But I also know we are human and it is easier done than said. So when he’s on your mind and you want to text, call or even do a drive by (don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about!) get out your feelings, block him and turn your phone off and do something else! Suggestions are below lol.

Clean your room or your house
Read a good book
Start a blog or make a new blog post
Start a business
Go back to school or finish that paper you were working on
Research and start a new career
Journal
Go to church
Pray for yourself and others
Volunteer (at a woman’s shelter)
Cook a good meal or bake something and eat it without guilt (allow yourself grace!)
Babysit
Exercise
Take a long walk
Take a road trip
Travel to your dream place alone
Go to the nursing home and visit (you might gain some wisdom in the process)
Cook a meal and bring it to a single mama
Visit loved ones
Make a bomb ass playlist
Organize a space in your home
Watch your favorite movie
Watch ratchet TV and be happy that isn’t your life lol
Read your bible (read Ester, Ruth or the Song of Solomon)
Write a 100xs you will not text or call him!
Go shopping or window shopping
Call your mama or daddy
Call, FaceTime or Skype a friend and have a good laugh or cry
Make a new friend
Send nice comments to your social media peeps
Take yourself out on a date
Take a hot long bubble bath
Play with some toys LOL
Donate something (clothes, time or money)
Research and start a new hobby
Wash and clean your car
Have a dance party
Hug and kiss on your kids
Buy yourself flowers
Go to Dollar Tree or your local dollar store
Decorate a space in your home
Put flowers on a loved ones grave
Paint your nails and toes
Wash and style your hair
Put on something cute and sexy
Look in the mirror
And remember you are worthy of the best!!!

Love Ricki