So today I thought I would share a simple date night look with y’all. Let me first say being seasoned and dating is very interesting! There are a lot of things that have changed since my younger days. And unfortunately actually going out on a real date doesn’t happen like it used to. I won’t comment here but check out my instastories on IG where I talk about what I believe a real date is.
So what would a seasoned woman wear on a dinner date? Something slightly trendy, stylish and accentuates your best accents. This dress fit all of that in my opinion! This dress was a winner in my eyes because it was on trend with the button down look, midi length so you don’t show much leg but had some sexiness with the neckline. Now this dress was perfect for ME. As a seasoned woman you should be familiar with your shape, what you feel you look good in and your best assets. My suggestion (and this is totally opinion) but I would wear a dress or skirt that embodies those qualities for the first date. Femininity is a lost art that men still appreciate.
I also liked this dress because I feel with a tank under I could wear it again for work with some heels or cute slides. You know I always like to get the most bang for my buck! So tell me what would you wear for a first dinner date?
If you know me then you know I enjoy changing up my look. As a seasoned woman variety is the spice of life and I love a lot of variety! However as a single mother of four my pocketbook doesn’t always agree with my need to change. That lead me to find inexpensive alternatives to these high cost bundles and frontals and the like and still be able to look good. I wanted to share some of the things I do to keep my look fresh but still seasoned.
First let’s talk about something real quick. As a 40 year old woman I in no way or shape want to be out here looking like a damn fool! All of my looks are fresh and fun but I am not trying to look like a 20 something (or anything else that I’m not). I don’t want to say I keep it age appropriate but in reality that is what I do. I work in a corporate environment and even though it is a relaxed office I would not feel comfortable or be taken seriously by sporting some wild hairstyle or some rainbow colors. Now if this is your thing by all means do it but as for me and my life, we will keep it real. That’s another thing… I am not against the 30 inch weaves falling down your butt, do you Boo!!! However, personally I like my hairstyles (for the most part cause I do have a moment here and there lol) to look believable not unbeweavable. I try to stick with natural colors and with textures close to my own natural hair. I am natural and one of the reasons I also wear wigs and weaves is to protect my hair and keep me from resorting back to the creamy crack.
Now that we got that out the way let’s talk about all this hair!
TIP #1 – Research! I never ever purchase a wig without looking up a review online first. I mostly search YouTube videos by putting in the search what I am looking for. For example, if I want to wear a curly style I will search curly synthetic wig. It is important to put synthetic so those types of wigs will show at the top of the search. If you’re trying to just get a new hairstyle or maybe even try a style before purchasing or attempting a more expensive version. Synthetic is the way to go. Companies have come a long way with how these wigs now look and I promise most of them look like real hair now. I also go to Youtube because I like to see how the wig came out of the box and if any manipulation is required to make this wig look natural. I will just tell you now, you will very rarely be able to wear a wig straight out of the package. You will need a reference to make it look like you want it to. Some ladies I follow on Youtube that you can check out to get an idea of how to wear these wigs are: The Brilliant Beauty, The Hearts and Cake90, Trendy Kay, Ms MuffinisMyLovers, Her Style, NaturalJoy & OhsoFashionable805. These ladies will give full reviews on the wig, show you how it came out the box and how to wear it. Here are some full wigs I have enjoyed in the past.
Same wig, middle part
Same wig, side part
TIP#2- Try a simple style. You don’t have to go big or go home when changing up your look. You can switch things up by adding a hair piece or using a half wig. When I am between hairstyles like sew ins or braids I will purchase a half wig to get me through! One of my favorites is the Outre Dominican Culy Half Wig which you can purchase here. Now I love big hair and this half wig can get very big but I tame it somewhat by wearing it in a half up/half down hairstyle. I even did a Youtube tutorial showing how I installed it on my natural hair. You can take a look here. Another simple way to make a change is to add a pony tail or braid. You can buy a drawstring ponytail from your local beauty supply for under $15 or get a pack of cheap braiding hair and make a braid. I love to use to wear the halo braid which I learned how to do by watching a simple tutorial on you guessed it, Youtube!
TIP#3 – Have fun with your hair. Sometimes as seasoned women we take ourselves a little too seriously. It’s okay to play around and try different looks and hair and makeup is one of the easiest ways to accomplish this. Get out of your style rut and try something different. It doesn’t have to be a drastic change as I stated before but a new look can have you feeling like a million bucks. I also suggest if there is a hairstyle or hair color you have been thinking about trying try it in a temporary form first. A wig is a great way to try out a color without making a commitment or even damaging your hair.
TIP#4 – Set a budget. A little here and there can add up quickly. I try to set a budget when I am purchasing wigs and I always search the internet for the best deals. I will tell you now it is almost always cheaper to buy on a wig website instead or your local beauty supply store BUT it is even better when you’re buying in bulk you also get free shipping. I usually do my research and buy a variety of wigs (usually 2-3) at a time. Here are some of the sites I like to purchase from:
These are reputable sights with fast shipping available and I can always find something within my budget.
Another budget friendly look you can do yourself that lasts a little longer than wigs is crochet braid styles. I love crochet styles and they have some a LONG way from the 90s when we first started wearing them. Take a look below on some of the styles I have worn.
The main thing I want you seasoned ladies to take from this post is that it is never too late to reinvent yourself and you don’t have to do something like cut your hair. You can just get a new wig and become a new you!!!
Now let me know in the comments if you would try some of these looks!
I am going to make this post short and sweet. As a mother of four I do thoroughly enjoy Mother’s Day. I even bought this dress specifically to celebrate the holiday but as I have become more seasoned and experienced life changes I now understand that Mother’s Day can be a hurtful holiday for some. Of course celebrate the mothers in your life or your own motherhood but keep in mind our sisters who may be experiencing a not so good time. As we approach Mother’s Day I want us to remember these things.
Illustration is by Marie Andrews via Instagram
Also, be sure to remember to be sensitive to those who may have lost the people that celebrated them as mothers (i.e. spouse).
Just remember even if it means nothing to you, it may mean everything to them.
When I first started my blog all I heard about was finding your niche and identifying your target audience. You had to know who you were speaking to and who you were serving. I really had no idea who that was. I knew I loved fashion and makeup and everything associated with those things. I knew I was a woman of a certain age and I could no longer relate to younger women who were showing more than I cared to show anymore. I settled on blogging for women who were my age and enjoyed the things I loved and who wanted to see what I saw. But eventually that wasn’t enough for me anymore. Fashion is awesome and where would I be without concealer but I wanted to cover topics that were relevant to me and possibly to other women who looked like me.
I wanted to represent for the ladies that are in that weird place in life (at least it was weird for me) where you are getting older but you are not old! You still have so much life to live and share but you can now do it with more confidence because life experiences have taught you valuable lessons. I was stuck on how to describe this woman when my good friend Sheena (who I actually met through Instagram follow her @she_is_fab) told me you are not getting old you are just becoming seasoned. Thank you Sheena because I took this word and as you know I ran with it! I think it is the perfect word to describe where I am in life as well as other ladies in my audience. What does it mean to be a seasoned woman? My definition is a woman who has not just survived but conquered all those things that life tends to throw at us like hurt, pain and loss. Even though those experiences (which we tend to collect as we age) can be hard those experiances are necessary and help to sprinkle us with wisdom, perseverance, strength and that certain je ne sais quoi! Shoot that description right there makes me proud to be a seasoned woman! I mean who really wants to be bland anyway?
I decided at the request of my fellow seasoned sisters to create merchandise geared for us. My first venture into this scary new world is a graphic tee. I love T-shirts like the next person but I am careful about what I broadcast across my chest. For instance, I love trap music just like the next mother of teenagers, but I don’t want a T-shirt that says TRAP QUEEN. I wanted a T-shirt that was fun but at the same time expressed my pride in being a Seasoned Woman. I designed two shirts so far that I felt expressed and I hope you like them. Of course, these are samples and the final edit will be a little different (and better quality, I am figuring all this out as I go!) but I am uber proud of what I have came up with. So be on the lookout in the future for these and more! (Hint: sign up for email so you can get updates on the launch, pre sale information and discount codes. Do it now!)
Are you a seasoned woman? Does the definition describe you? Also what do you think of the shirts, would you buy and wear one? Let me know in the comments!
ZarahereBy now everybody knows (In my Phaedra Parks voice) that I absolutely love being a Seasoned Woman!!! It really does feel good to love yourself, have confidence and know what and who you want in your life. One of the things I have learned from being seasoned is the way you carry yourself is important! Growing up my mother ALWAYS emphasized that as a woman you should carry yourself a certain way. As a child I never quite understood what that meant but now I understand completely.
The way you look, speak, treat other people makes up the way you carry yourself. I think the way we look is very important whether we want to admit it or not. It is not how other people should define us but our image is what gets us through the door whether its business or personal. And I am not talking about beauty. I am talking about class. Are you neat and clean? Are your clothes ironed and pockets tucked into your jeans (my pet peeve with my kids!)? Is your hair combed or out of place? Are your fingernails dirty? Do you smile or frown? All of these are things people see and make a determination as to whether they want to get to know you better.
Another thing which may be a touchy subject for the ladies is are you showing too much? I’m not talking about a little cleavage here or there or wearing a crop top. I’m talking about the barely there painted on dress. Don’t be shamed because I have done it but now I understand that leaving something to the imagination is way sexier than baring it all. Some celebrities and even influencers think it’s cute to show us everything they’re working with, but I am here to tell you it is not. Leave that for your man, woman or whoever you are dating in 2018. I’ll tell you another thing Sallie has said. If I can already see your whole city, state and country- why would I want to travel there anymore?
That was one of the main reasons I chose this dress as my Valentines look. I am almost completely covered but I am still SEXY (If I do say so myself). This dress is midi length which I love and has an open knit fabric which has a slip underneath but still shows just enough skin (size down for a more form fitting look cause the dress has a nice stretch). I don’t have to worry about tugging and pulling a dress down, scared I’m going to show all my mama blessed me with. I don’t have to think about a boob popping out or sliding up under my bra (Yes that has happened smh). I am still SEXY and SEASONED without giving everybody a peep show.
Don’t be scared, tell me how you really feel about women showing a lot of skin? Do you agree with what I said or think I’m too old school?
I pray you have an awesome Valentine’s Day whether you or boo’d up or single and satisfied. Remember to love yourself first because that’s how people will love you in return!
So I had planned another outfit for this post but last minute I had to pick something else. I couldn’t bring myself to wear much less promote anything from a company that obviously doesn’t want my coins and as a mother of a black son I’m just not here for it. So anyway I really had no idea what I wanted to wear and went to the mall for some inspiration. While browsing the clearance racks I found this gray duster and figured this would work with my favorite skinny jeans and a white shirt. But then it hit me! This outfit is so BASIC. No one will be excited about seeing these pics. I was on the verge of picking something else out, spending coins I shouldn’t when I said to myself this is a cute outfit. Why would I spend money I didn’t need to spend in order to impress anyone? I’m sorry that’s just not what a Seasoned Woman does. So instead I bought it and styled it (if you can even call it that) for the blog. I’m okay with being basic. And here are some reasons why:
Being Basic keeps my coins in my purse- When we try to impress people (people that don’t really care anyway) by being the flashiest or most extra, we are normally spending money we may not even have. Believe me ladies I know, I know. I’ve been the one with the designer bag and high heels trying to be the epitome of the Trina song we know so well. It didn’t do anything but leave me with no money to put in that purse and bad knees. As I’ve gotten more seasoned I’ve become okay with wearing basics. And this doesn’t just apply to clothes. It can happen when you try to be flashy and “front” as we used to say by being at every event knowing full well your gas light in your car is on or trying to keep up with Jones’ and having every cable channel, NBA league pass AND NFL ticket when no one humanly possible even has time to watch all that stuff much less pay for it! Hell I don’t even want cable anymore. I’ll Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime and chill any night. Or read a book (or listen to one).
Being Basic helps me stay in my own lane-A big part of being better (my word for 2018 -see the post here) is to focus on my strengths and improve upon my weaknesses and being basic helps me focus on that. When you’re not try to do all things and be everything and everywhere you learn to focus on what you love and what’s important. Suddenly losing so many loved ones last year helped me regain focus on truly living my life, discovering my passion and loving the ones I’m with.
Being Basic keeps me drama free-Nothing to see here cause I’m basic. When you give them nothing to talk about, there’s nothing to talk about. I’ll just stay over here making my moves in silence. Thanks.
Being Basic makes me unbothered- I don’t let too many things, people or situations bother me anymore. As a seasoned woman I have learned what is and what isn’t worth my time and energy. Sometimes that means being quiet, forgiving the offense and moving on to other things. I’ve also learned that worrying solves nothing and prayer solves everything. Saying just pray about it may be the most basic response someone can give when an issue arises but who can argue that prayer doesn’t work? I’ll wait.
Being Basic gets ish done- When you’re in your own lane, got a few dollars in that basic bag and you’re drama free and unbothered you get finish things. Honestly if I was trying to do the most, this blog post wouldn’t have gotten done. I think we all spend a little too much time on elaborate ideas instead of just executing simple plans, step by step. I always believe the mantra, progress is better than perfection. And who really wants to be fabulous but not moving forward in life. Not saying you shouldn’t present your best but just don’t get caught up that nothing is accomplished. Rather than trying to be the perfect most original blogger ever (in my opinion there is really no original idea only an original you!) I’ll just be basic and live my best life!
Don’t say New Year, New me. You’re already good just be better!
So normally around this time of year everyone is making their New Year resolutions. Well I’m not. I don’t think the beginning of a new year should be an indicator of change. First of all most people are scared of change but it is necessary in life. Without changes there would be no growth. Personally I have learned to embrace change. Without change I wouldn’t have this blog and have met so many wonderful women and men who have helped me grow and learn. So yeah change is scary but it definitely can also be good.
Another thing that a lot of people say this season is new year, new me. To me this is to say the old you isn’t good or something which is totally untrue. I think we are all good people (well most of us, our current world leader is questionable), some of us just get in bad situations, or make not so smart decisions or life just happens and our reactions aren’t well thought out or planned. But we are all still good. So instead of saying new year, new me, say new year, better me. Better decisions, better situations, and better reactions and planning. All that will lead to what I believe the Lord has put in all of us which is greatness! So in 2018, be GREAT!!
So this last minute NYE look is actually not last minute. I’ve had this dress since October from Forever21 (the plus line, it’s a 0x) and these shoes from JustFab for 3 yrs. I added the fur stole (it was on sale under $15) also from Forever21 and the sequined/ velvet clutch is from wait for it…the 99 cent only store! It doesn’t cost a lot to look poppin as the young folks say!!
I hope that you and your loved ones have a safe, happy and prosperous New Year. I will be sipping a little something something from the comfort of my own home for the free 99 but if you turn up make sure to do it responsibly and safely!!!