I am going to make this post short and sweet. As a mother of four I do thoroughly enjoy Mother’s Day. I even bought this dress specifically to celebrate the holiday but as I have become more seasoned and experienced life changes I now understand that Mother’s Day can be a hurtful holiday for some. Of course celebrate the mothers in your life or your own motherhood but keep in mind our sisters who may be experiencing a not so good time. As we approach Mother’s Day I want us to remember these things.
Illustration is by Marie Andrews via Instagram
Also, be sure to remember to be sensitive to those who may have lost the people that celebrated them as mothers (i.e. spouse).
Just remember even if it means nothing to you, it may mean everything to them.
When I first started my blog all I heard about was finding your niche and identifying your target audience. You had to know who you were speaking to and who you were serving. I really had no idea who that was. I knew I loved fashion and makeup and everything associated with those things. I knew I was a woman of a certain age and I could no longer relate to younger women who were showing more than I cared to show anymore. I settled on blogging for women who were my age and enjoyed the things I loved and who wanted to see what I saw. But eventually that wasn’t enough for me anymore. Fashion is awesome and where would I be without concealer but I wanted to cover topics that were relevant to me and possibly to other women who looked like me.
I wanted to represent for the ladies that are in that weird place in life (at least it was weird for me) where you are getting older but you are not old! You still have so much life to live and share but you can now do it with more confidence because life experiences have taught you valuable lessons. I was stuck on how to describe this woman when my good friend Sheena (who I actually met through Instagram follow her @she_is_fab) told me you are not getting old you are just becoming seasoned. Thank you Sheena because I took this word and as you know I ran with it! I think it is the perfect word to describe where I am in life as well as other ladies in my audience. What does it mean to be a seasoned woman? My definition is a woman who has not just survived but conquered all those things that life tends to throw at us like hurt, pain and loss. Even though those experiences (which we tend to collect as we age) can be hard those experiances are necessary and help to sprinkle us with wisdom, perseverance, strength and that certain je ne sais quoi! Shoot that description right there makes me proud to be a seasoned woman! I mean who really wants to be bland anyway?
I decided at the request of my fellow seasoned sisters to create merchandise geared for us. My first venture into this scary new world is a graphic tee. I love T-shirts like the next person but I am careful about what I broadcast across my chest. For instance, I love trap music just like the next mother of teenagers, but I don’t want a T-shirt that says TRAP QUEEN. I wanted a T-shirt that was fun but at the same time expressed my pride in being a Seasoned Woman. I designed two shirts so far that I felt expressed and I hope you like them. Of course, these are samples and the final edit will be a little different (and better quality, I am figuring all this out as I go!) but I am uber proud of what I have came up with. So be on the lookout in the future for these and more! (Hint: sign up for email so you can get updates on the launch, pre sale information and discount codes. Do it now!)
Are you a seasoned woman? Does the definition describe you? Also what do you think of the shirts, would you buy and wear one? Let me know in the comments!
So I had planned another outfit for this post but last minute I had to pick something else. I couldn’t bring myself to wear much less promote anything from a company that obviously doesn’t want my coins and as a mother of a black son I’m just not here for it. So anyway I really had no idea what I wanted to wear and went to the mall for some inspiration. While browsing the clearance racks I found this gray duster and figured this would work with my favorite skinny jeans and a white shirt. But then it hit me! This outfit is so BASIC. No one will be excited about seeing these pics. I was on the verge of picking something else out, spending coins I shouldn’t when I said to myself this is a cute outfit. Why would I spend money I didn’t need to spend in order to impress anyone? I’m sorry that’s just not what a Seasoned Woman does. So instead I bought it and styled it (if you can even call it that) for the blog. I’m okay with being basic. And here are some reasons why:
Being Basic keeps my coins in my purse- When we try to impress people (people that don’t really care anyway) by being the flashiest or most extra, we are normally spending money we may not even have. Believe me ladies I know, I know. I’ve been the one with the designer bag and high heels trying to be the epitome of the Trina song we know so well. It didn’t do anything but leave me with no money to put in that purse and bad knees. As I’ve gotten more seasoned I’ve become okay with wearing basics. And this doesn’t just apply to clothes. It can happen when you try to be flashy and “front” as we used to say by being at every event knowing full well your gas light in your car is on or trying to keep up with Jones’ and having every cable channel, NBA league pass AND NFL ticket when no one humanly possible even has time to watch all that stuff much less pay for it! Hell I don’t even want cable anymore. I’ll Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime and chill any night. Or read a book (or listen to one).
Being Basic helps me stay in my own lane-A big part of being better (my word for 2018 -see the post here) is to focus on my strengths and improve upon my weaknesses and being basic helps me focus on that. When you’re not try to do all things and be everything and everywhere you learn to focus on what you love and what’s important. Suddenly losing so many loved ones last year helped me regain focus on truly living my life, discovering my passion and loving the ones I’m with.
Being Basic keeps me drama free-Nothing to see here cause I’m basic. When you give them nothing to talk about, there’s nothing to talk about. I’ll just stay over here making my moves in silence. Thanks.
Being Basic makes me unbothered- I don’t let too many things, people or situations bother me anymore. As a seasoned woman I have learned what is and what isn’t worth my time and energy. Sometimes that means being quiet, forgiving the offense and moving on to other things. I’ve also learned that worrying solves nothing and prayer solves everything. Saying just pray about it may be the most basic response someone can give when an issue arises but who can argue that prayer doesn’t work? I’ll wait.
Being Basic gets ish done- When you’re in your own lane, got a few dollars in that basic bag and you’re drama free and unbothered you get finish things. Honestly if I was trying to do the most, this blog post wouldn’t have gotten done. I think we all spend a little too much time on elaborate ideas instead of just executing simple plans, step by step. I always believe the mantra, progress is better than perfection. And who really wants to be fabulous but not moving forward in life. Not saying you shouldn’t present your best but just don’t get caught up that nothing is accomplished. Rather than trying to be the perfect most original blogger ever (in my opinion there is really no original idea only an original you!) I’ll just be basic and live my best life!
My closet is definitely something I am working on this year and this dress was a must have!
So probably by this date you are sick about hearing about goals and all that jazz so I won’t carry on or be long today. All I want to say is that you can write your goals down, pray over them, memorize and meditate over them whatever you do but none of that means anything if you don’t take action! Those same goals will be sitting in that pretty planner until next year and the year after that until you get up and start taking some steps even if they’re tiny ones. I think everyone wants to talk about the pretty side of goal setting but you have to know that nothing works until you do. And that may mean sacrificing time or money on other things or doing something toward your goal when you don’t feel like it (kind of how I felt today lol) but I say if you REALLY want something you’ll do whatever it takes. So go ahead and write that goal down (and subscribe to the blog so you can get your goal action plan download 😉 but make sure you put in the work too!!!
Now on to this dress hunny!!! This dress was definitely apart of my closet goals. To me closet goals is being able to go into my closet and wear whatever is there and look and feel good in it. No more never feeling like I have anything cute to wear! Am I the only one that feels like that? Anyways I absolutely love this dress except even though it fits everywhere else it is quite snug around my chest. Ugh!!! Fashion retailers if you’re listening you need to create sizing for us larger busted women. Okay rant over now let me tell you why this dress is amazing. First the pattern is classic and it’s a midi length shirt dress so it’s perfect for the office or church but I certainly think that you can dress it down for a brunch or happy hour (check out that split). And this Zara beauty is also goals because I can rock it with boots now but later in the spring some sandals and a colorful belt would look good too. You will definitely see me in this again just in a different way. Now tell me do you have closet goals too?
So everyone went wild for the Tracee Ellis Ross collection at JC Penney and I fully participated and ended up scoring the perfect dress to eat all you want at Thanksgiving!
So much like every other fashionista I know or just women in general who love Tracee Ellis Ross I was super excited when her clothing collection with JC Penney launched. Of course we all saw the previews and there was one particular dress I really wanted. It was a black and white striped midi dress but it quickly sold out online and I was unable to find my size in the store. My overall impression of the collection was that I liked it and I loved that it included plus sizes but everything wasn’t my cup of tea and that’s okay because I’ve already said in this post here Everything ain’t for Everybody.
Upon visiting the store however I did find this sweater dress but I will not lie I wasn’t too impressed. It looked huge and shapeless and I am no tiny woman so I felt I would appear big in it. Well hunny let me tell you! ALWAYS TRY CLOTHES ON!!! That goes for any size woman! You can never really tell if you will like something on the hanger so trust me on this and proceed to the nearest fitting room. I actually didn’t try this in the first time I saw it but a lovely lady on IG (@divinedivastyle) modeled it and I was like hmmm I might need to revisit that. So I went back to JC Penney and tried it on and I knew instantly this was the perfect dress for Thanksgiving! This is a sweater dress made with a really soft material (the cashier kept feeling on my dress y’all lol) and although it fits large the shape doesn’t make you feel huge. And since it’s not form fitting it is perfect to hide the food baby I will have once I eat my way thru EVERYTHING my mother in law prepares for our holiday meal! I got my dress in a L/XL and I probably could have went down in size but because I’m 5’7″ I needed the extra length the larger size provided. If the tattoo shows it may be a tad bit short lol! This dress was perfect to finally wear my Scarfed for Attention necklace I got for $5 from my favorite Paparazzi consultant Eve and my OTK boots from JustFab (hurry they are currently 50% off for Black Friday and selling out fast!)
So let me know in the comments if you would rock this dress or if you purchased anything from the collection!