I am going to make this post short and sweet. As a mother of four I do thoroughly enjoy Mother’s Day. I even bought this dress specifically to celebrate the holiday but as I have become more seasoned and experienced life changes I now understand that Mother’s Day can be a hurtful holiday for some. Of course celebrate the mothers in your life or your own motherhood but keep in mind our sisters who may be experiencing a not so good time. As we approach Mother’s Day I want us to remember these things.
Illustration is by Marie Andrews via Instagram
Also, be sure to remember to be sensitive to those who may have lost the people that celebrated them as mothers (i.e. spouse).
Just remember even if it means nothing to you, it may mean everything to them.
When I first started my blog all I heard about was finding your niche and identifying your target audience. You had to know who you were speaking to and who you were serving. I really had no idea who that was. I knew I loved fashion and makeup and everything associated with those things. I knew I was a woman of a certain age and I could no longer relate to younger women who were showing more than I cared to show anymore. I settled on blogging for women who were my age and enjoyed the things I loved and who wanted to see what I saw. But eventually that wasn’t enough for me anymore. Fashion is awesome and where would I be without concealer but I wanted to cover topics that were relevant to me and possibly to other women who looked like me.
I wanted to represent for the ladies that are in that weird place in life (at least it was weird for me) where you are getting older but you are not old! You still have so much life to live and share but you can now do it with more confidence because life experiences have taught you valuable lessons. I was stuck on how to describe this woman when my good friend Sheena (who I actually met through Instagram follow her @she_is_fab) told me you are not getting old you are just becoming seasoned. Thank you Sheena because I took this word and as you know I ran with it! I think it is the perfect word to describe where I am in life as well as other ladies in my audience. What does it mean to be a seasoned woman? My definition is a woman who has not just survived but conquered all those things that life tends to throw at us like hurt, pain and loss. Even though those experiences (which we tend to collect as we age) can be hard those experiances are necessary and help to sprinkle us with wisdom, perseverance, strength and that certain je ne sais quoi! Shoot that description right there makes me proud to be a seasoned woman! I mean who really wants to be bland anyway?
I decided at the request of my fellow seasoned sisters to create merchandise geared for us. My first venture into this scary new world is a graphic tee. I love T-shirts like the next person but I am careful about what I broadcast across my chest. For instance, I love trap music just like the next mother of teenagers, but I don’t want a T-shirt that says TRAP QUEEN. I wanted a T-shirt that was fun but at the same time expressed my pride in being a Seasoned Woman. I designed two shirts so far that I felt expressed and I hope you like them. Of course, these are samples and the final edit will be a little different (and better quality, I am figuring all this out as I go!) but I am uber proud of what I have came up with. So be on the lookout in the future for these and more! (Hint: sign up for email so you can get updates on the launch, pre sale information and discount codes. Do it now!)
Are you a seasoned woman? Does the definition describe you? Also what do you think of the shirts, would you buy and wear one? Let me know in the comments!
So I had planned another outfit for this post but last minute I had to pick something else. I couldn’t bring myself to wear much less promote anything from a company that obviously doesn’t want my coins and as a mother of a black son I’m just not here for it. So anyway I really had no idea what I wanted to wear and went to the mall for some inspiration. While browsing the clearance racks I found this gray duster and figured this would work with my favorite skinny jeans and a white shirt. But then it hit me! This outfit is so BASIC. No one will be excited about seeing these pics. I was on the verge of picking something else out, spending coins I shouldn’t when I said to myself this is a cute outfit. Why would I spend money I didn’t need to spend in order to impress anyone? I’m sorry that’s just not what a Seasoned Woman does. So instead I bought it and styled it (if you can even call it that) for the blog. I’m okay with being basic. And here are some reasons why:
Being Basic keeps my coins in my purse- When we try to impress people (people that don’t really care anyway) by being the flashiest or most extra, we are normally spending money we may not even have. Believe me ladies I know, I know. I’ve been the one with the designer bag and high heels trying to be the epitome of the Trina song we know so well. It didn’t do anything but leave me with no money to put in that purse and bad knees. As I’ve gotten more seasoned I’ve become okay with wearing basics. And this doesn’t just apply to clothes. It can happen when you try to be flashy and “front” as we used to say by being at every event knowing full well your gas light in your car is on or trying to keep up with Jones’ and having every cable channel, NBA league pass AND NFL ticket when no one humanly possible even has time to watch all that stuff much less pay for it! Hell I don’t even want cable anymore. I’ll Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime and chill any night. Or read a book (or listen to one).
Being Basic helps me stay in my own lane-A big part of being better (my word for 2018 -see the post here) is to focus on my strengths and improve upon my weaknesses and being basic helps me focus on that. When you’re not try to do all things and be everything and everywhere you learn to focus on what you love and what’s important. Suddenly losing so many loved ones last year helped me regain focus on truly living my life, discovering my passion and loving the ones I’m with.
Being Basic keeps me drama free-Nothing to see here cause I’m basic. When you give them nothing to talk about, there’s nothing to talk about. I’ll just stay over here making my moves in silence. Thanks.
Being Basic makes me unbothered- I don’t let too many things, people or situations bother me anymore. As a seasoned woman I have learned what is and what isn’t worth my time and energy. Sometimes that means being quiet, forgiving the offense and moving on to other things. I’ve also learned that worrying solves nothing and prayer solves everything. Saying just pray about it may be the most basic response someone can give when an issue arises but who can argue that prayer doesn’t work? I’ll wait.
Being Basic gets ish done- When you’re in your own lane, got a few dollars in that basic bag and you’re drama free and unbothered you get finish things. Honestly if I was trying to do the most, this blog post wouldn’t have gotten done. I think we all spend a little too much time on elaborate ideas instead of just executing simple plans, step by step. I always believe the mantra, progress is better than perfection. And who really wants to be fabulous but not moving forward in life. Not saying you shouldn’t present your best but just don’t get caught up that nothing is accomplished. Rather than trying to be the perfect most original blogger ever (in my opinion there is really no original idea only an original you!) I’ll just be basic and live my best life!
Don’t say New Year, New me. You’re already good just be better!
So normally around this time of year everyone is making their New Year resolutions. Well I’m not. I don’t think the beginning of a new year should be an indicator of change. First of all most people are scared of change but it is necessary in life. Without changes there would be no growth. Personally I have learned to embrace change. Without change I wouldn’t have this blog and have met so many wonderful women and men who have helped me grow and learn. So yeah change is scary but it definitely can also be good.
Another thing that a lot of people say this season is new year, new me. To me this is to say the old you isn’t good or something which is totally untrue. I think we are all good people (well most of us, our current world leader is questionable), some of us just get in bad situations, or make not so smart decisions or life just happens and our reactions aren’t well thought out or planned. But we are all still good. So instead of saying new year, new me, say new year, better me. Better decisions, better situations, and better reactions and planning. All that will lead to what I believe the Lord has put in all of us which is greatness! So in 2018, be GREAT!!
So this last minute NYE look is actually not last minute. I’ve had this dress since October from Forever21 (the plus line, it’s a 0x) and these shoes from JustFab for 3 yrs. I added the fur stole (it was on sale under $15) also from Forever21 and the sequined/ velvet clutch is from wait for it…the 99 cent only store! It doesn’t cost a lot to look poppin as the young folks say!!
I hope that you and your loved ones have a safe, happy and prosperous New Year. I will be sipping a little something something from the comfort of my own home for the free 99 but if you turn up make sure to do it responsibly and safely!!!
Satan definitely tried it when I was trying to get this post done! So I had planned this post about 3 weeks ago when I first saw this skirt here. When it went on sale for 50% off I grabbed it and I planned on finding a graphic tee to wear with it. I have fallen in love with graphic tees thanks to my blogger boo Ranisha (check out her blog here, she’s awesome!) but I knew I didn’t just want any shirt, I wanted one with a message or something I really liked. As a seasoned woman I just don’t like to walk around with just anything on my chest. I want people to feel something even if it’s just nostalgia. So I was just about to click the buy button on a Sade T-shirt (and don’t worry I’m still gonna get it lol) but something said hey this would be a chance to style an outfit for church especially with this gorgeous velvet skirt. So I searched some Christian tees on Etsy and this was one of THE first shirts I saw. I knew this was it because I had a friend/co-worker who would always say “Not Today!” whenever his conversation with a client was going in the wrong direction if you catch my drift.
So this is when things went left. I ordered the wrong color shirt. My original vision for this look was a white tee with black writing but oops I don’t think I paid attention when checking out. BUT I didn’t open the package until the day of the shoot. I also planned on wearing a pearl bib necklace with it to dress it up for church but the necklace was so big it covered up the writing. So I took another L and just settled on simple accessories since it was my goal to just get this message across. I struggled y’all because I stayed out too long and my makeup sucked, my wig wouldn’t act right (hence the ponytail) and my photographer failed to tell me one sock was falling down around my ankle. BUT I still fought and pulled thru bc when I heard what happened in my home state of Texas Sunday I knew everyone I could reach needed to see this. The difficulties I ran into were NOTHING! People lost their lives AND the fear of not feeling safe in their place of worship, which should be a sacred place, was felt in the hearts of Americans everywhere. Well I am here to say on my small piece of the web that fear does not exist except when it comes to fearing God and Him only! I still have my faith because I know what God has done for me and delivered me from. With age comes experience and the knowing that this too shall pass. I pray for everyone that was affected and hurt and my prayer is also that we continue to go to our places of worship wherever that may be. Praise and worship confuses the enemy so let’s make sure he stays out the loop. Not today Satan, or tomorrow or ever! I’ll see y’all at church.