I am going to make this post short and sweet. As a mother of four I do thoroughly enjoy Mother’s Day. I even bought this dress specifically to celebrate the holiday but as I have become more seasoned and experienced life changes I now understand that Mother’s Day can be a hurtful holiday for some. Of course celebrate the mothers in your life or your own motherhood but keep in mind our sisters who may be experiencing a not so good time. As we approach Mother’s Day I want us to remember these things.
Illustration is by Marie Andrews via Instagram
Also, be sure to remember to be sensitive to those who may have lost the people that celebrated them as mothers (i.e. spouse).
Just remember even if it means nothing to you, it may mean everything to them.
When I first started my blog all I heard about was finding your niche and identifying your target audience. You had to know who you were speaking to and who you were serving. I really had no idea who that was. I knew I loved fashion and makeup and everything associated with those things. I knew I was a woman of a certain age and I could no longer relate to younger women who were showing more than I cared to show anymore. I settled on blogging for women who were my age and enjoyed the things I loved and who wanted to see what I saw. But eventually that wasn’t enough for me anymore. Fashion is awesome and where would I be without concealer but I wanted to cover topics that were relevant to me and possibly to other women who looked like me.
I wanted to represent for the ladies that are in that weird place in life (at least it was weird for me) where you are getting older but you are not old! You still have so much life to live and share but you can now do it with more confidence because life experiences have taught you valuable lessons. I was stuck on how to describe this woman when my good friend Sheena (who I actually met through Instagram follow her @she_is_fab) told me you are not getting old you are just becoming seasoned. Thank you Sheena because I took this word and as you know I ran with it! I think it is the perfect word to describe where I am in life as well as other ladies in my audience. What does it mean to be a seasoned woman? My definition is a woman who has not just survived but conquered all those things that life tends to throw at us like hurt, pain and loss. Even though those experiences (which we tend to collect as we age) can be hard those experiances are necessary and help to sprinkle us with wisdom, perseverance, strength and that certain je ne sais quoi! Shoot that description right there makes me proud to be a seasoned woman! I mean who really wants to be bland anyway?
I decided at the request of my fellow seasoned sisters to create merchandise geared for us. My first venture into this scary new world is a graphic tee. I love T-shirts like the next person but I am careful about what I broadcast across my chest. For instance, I love trap music just like the next mother of teenagers, but I don’t want a T-shirt that says TRAP QUEEN. I wanted a T-shirt that was fun but at the same time expressed my pride in being a Seasoned Woman. I designed two shirts so far that I felt expressed and I hope you like them. Of course, these are samples and the final edit will be a little different (and better quality, I am figuring all this out as I go!) but I am uber proud of what I have came up with. So be on the lookout in the future for these and more! (Hint: sign up for email so you can get updates on the launch, pre sale information and discount codes. Do it now!)
Are you a seasoned woman? Does the definition describe you? Also what do you think of the shirts, would you buy and wear one? Let me know in the comments!
So I had planned another outfit for this post but last minute I had to pick something else. I couldn’t bring myself to wear much less promote anything from a company that obviously doesn’t want my coins and as a mother of a black son I’m just not here for it. So anyway I really had no idea what I wanted to wear and went to the mall for some inspiration. While browsing the clearance racks I found this gray duster and figured this would work with my favorite skinny jeans and a white shirt. But then it hit me! This outfit is so BASIC. No one will be excited about seeing these pics. I was on the verge of picking something else out, spending coins I shouldn’t when I said to myself this is a cute outfit. Why would I spend money I didn’t need to spend in order to impress anyone? I’m sorry that’s just not what a Seasoned Woman does. So instead I bought it and styled it (if you can even call it that) for the blog. I’m okay with being basic. And here are some reasons why:
Being Basic keeps my coins in my purse- When we try to impress people (people that don’t really care anyway) by being the flashiest or most extra, we are normally spending money we may not even have. Believe me ladies I know, I know. I’ve been the one with the designer bag and high heels trying to be the epitome of the Trina song we know so well. It didn’t do anything but leave me with no money to put in that purse and bad knees. As I’ve gotten more seasoned I’ve become okay with wearing basics. And this doesn’t just apply to clothes. It can happen when you try to be flashy and “front” as we used to say by being at every event knowing full well your gas light in your car is on or trying to keep up with Jones’ and having every cable channel, NBA league pass AND NFL ticket when no one humanly possible even has time to watch all that stuff much less pay for it! Hell I don’t even want cable anymore. I’ll Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime and chill any night. Or read a book (or listen to one).
Being Basic helps me stay in my own lane-A big part of being better (my word for 2018 -see the post here) is to focus on my strengths and improve upon my weaknesses and being basic helps me focus on that. When you’re not try to do all things and be everything and everywhere you learn to focus on what you love and what’s important. Suddenly losing so many loved ones last year helped me regain focus on truly living my life, discovering my passion and loving the ones I’m with.
Being Basic keeps me drama free-Nothing to see here cause I’m basic. When you give them nothing to talk about, there’s nothing to talk about. I’ll just stay over here making my moves in silence. Thanks.
Being Basic makes me unbothered- I don’t let too many things, people or situations bother me anymore. As a seasoned woman I have learned what is and what isn’t worth my time and energy. Sometimes that means being quiet, forgiving the offense and moving on to other things. I’ve also learned that worrying solves nothing and prayer solves everything. Saying just pray about it may be the most basic response someone can give when an issue arises but who can argue that prayer doesn’t work? I’ll wait.
Being Basic gets ish done- When you’re in your own lane, got a few dollars in that basic bag and you’re drama free and unbothered you get finish things. Honestly if I was trying to do the most, this blog post wouldn’t have gotten done. I think we all spend a little too much time on elaborate ideas instead of just executing simple plans, step by step. I always believe the mantra, progress is better than perfection. And who really wants to be fabulous but not moving forward in life. Not saying you shouldn’t present your best but just don’t get caught up that nothing is accomplished. Rather than trying to be the perfect most original blogger ever (in my opinion there is really no original idea only an original you!) I’ll just be basic and live my best life!
Don’t say New Year, New me. You’re already good just be better!
So normally around this time of year everyone is making their New Year resolutions. Well I’m not. I don’t think the beginning of a new year should be an indicator of change. First of all most people are scared of change but it is necessary in life. Without changes there would be no growth. Personally I have learned to embrace change. Without change I wouldn’t have this blog and have met so many wonderful women and men who have helped me grow and learn. So yeah change is scary but it definitely can also be good.
Another thing that a lot of people say this season is new year, new me. To me this is to say the old you isn’t good or something which is totally untrue. I think we are all good people (well most of us, our current world leader is questionable), some of us just get in bad situations, or make not so smart decisions or life just happens and our reactions aren’t well thought out or planned. But we are all still good. So instead of saying new year, new me, say new year, better me. Better decisions, better situations, and better reactions and planning. All that will lead to what I believe the Lord has put in all of us which is greatness! So in 2018, be GREAT!!
So this last minute NYE look is actually not last minute. I’ve had this dress since October from Forever21 (the plus line, it’s a 0x) and these shoes from JustFab for 3 yrs. I added the fur stole (it was on sale under $15) also from Forever21 and the sequined/ velvet clutch is from wait for it…the 99 cent only store! It doesn’t cost a lot to look poppin as the young folks say!!
I hope that you and your loved ones have a safe, happy and prosperous New Year. I will be sipping a little something something from the comfort of my own home for the free 99 but if you turn up make sure to do it responsibly and safely!!!
Satan definitely tried it when I was trying to get this post done! So I had planned this post about 3 weeks ago when I first saw this skirt here. When it went on sale for 50% off I grabbed it and I planned on finding a graphic tee to wear with it. I have fallen in love with graphic tees thanks to my blogger boo Ranisha (check out her blog here, she’s awesome!) but I knew I didn’t just want any shirt, I wanted one with a message or something I really liked. As a seasoned woman I just don’t like to walk around with just anything on my chest. I want people to feel something even if it’s just nostalgia. So I was just about to click the buy button on a Sade T-shirt (and don’t worry I’m still gonna get it lol) but something said hey this would be a chance to style an outfit for church especially with this gorgeous velvet skirt. So I searched some Christian tees on Etsy and this was one of THE first shirts I saw. I knew this was it because I had a friend/co-worker who would always say “Not Today!” whenever his conversation with a client was going in the wrong direction if you catch my drift.
So this is when things went left. I ordered the wrong color shirt. My original vision for this look was a white tee with black writing but oops I don’t think I paid attention when checking out. BUT I didn’t open the package until the day of the shoot. I also planned on wearing a pearl bib necklace with it to dress it up for church but the necklace was so big it covered up the writing. So I took another L and just settled on simple accessories since it was my goal to just get this message across. I struggled y’all because I stayed out too long and my makeup sucked, my wig wouldn’t act right (hence the ponytail) and my photographer failed to tell me one sock was falling down around my ankle. BUT I still fought and pulled thru bc when I heard what happened in my home state of Texas Sunday I knew everyone I could reach needed to see this. The difficulties I ran into were NOTHING! People lost their lives AND the fear of not feeling safe in their place of worship, which should be a sacred place, was felt in the hearts of Americans everywhere. Well I am here to say on my small piece of the web that fear does not exist except when it comes to fearing God and Him only! I still have my faith because I know what God has done for me and delivered me from. With age comes experience and the knowing that this too shall pass. I pray for everyone that was affected and hurt and my prayer is also that we continue to go to our places of worship wherever that may be. Praise and worship confuses the enemy so let’s make sure he stays out the loop. Not today Satan, or tomorrow or ever! I’ll see y’all at church.
Trending and classic at the same dang time – The Wrap dress!
Yaaasssssssss to this dress y’all! When I saw it on Zara’s website I knew I had to have it! As a seasoned woman (Thanks Sheena!) you discover what looks good on you and what doesn’t. You discover classic items that you need that are seasonless and this dress is definitely one of them. If you don’t know who I’m referring to when I say DVF, I’m talking about Diane Von Fürstenberg who made the wrap dress popular and classic back in the early 70s which falls in line with the fall 70s trend as well. Her dresses and prints are bomb but are expensive and I will definitely have one in my closet one day (I would love a vintage one!) but for now this Zara one did the job. And well I might add ! The material feels good and it’s thick and it was actually priced at right at $50 so I was all in. And I think you should be too! The wrap dress works on pretty much every body type as the wrap around designs cinches in the waist and creates an hourglass shape even if you don’t have one. So go try one! I am wearing an extra large and even though I could use a little more fabric up top (large chest problems ugh) it’s nothing a safety pin can’t fix when I’m in more conservative company. I decided to add more 70s vibes with these red leather (like) slouchy high heeled boots from Shoedazzle. Continue reading “DVF Vibes!”
You need a denim shirt in your life. Don’t debate me on this lol.
For fall and beyond you need two things: A denim or chambray shirt if you’re fancy AND to stop looking back at your past. So first let’s discuss why you need a denim shirt (I’m not fancy). A denim shirt GOES WITH EVERYTHING! I hate to scream but it really does ladies. If you don’t know what to wear throw on a denim shirt and jeans and add accessories or not and you have an instant easy outfit where you looked like you tried (I won’t tell nobody). I have styled my new favorite Levi’s denim shirt which I thrifted for seven dollars 3 ways for 3 different occasions. I love this shirt because it is fitted and can work with a lot of different looks vs an oversized one. First up: Work.
If you have a business casual work environment you can throw on a denim shirt with your favorite bottoms for a whole new look. Here I paired my shirt with my Fashion Nova pants which I wore before here. The denim shirt tones down the bold pants and the printed heels add a fun business vibe.
The next look I came up with can be worn for happy hours with the girls or date night with your man.
I wore one of my fav fun skirts with the shirt this time. It’s a fringe skirt from NY and Co and it’s perfect for going out. The denim shirt pairs well with the neutral color and I tied it at the waist for a sexier feel. I promise even though this skirt is a basic color you could pair your shirt with ANY print or color skirt (even sequins) for a casual glam vibe.
The final look is my Mama uniform.
I wore my denim shirt with my fav comfortable skinny jeans, new black booties and some fun colorful earrings. I can be chauffeur, cook, assistant, atm OH I mean Mama in this outfit and still feel stylish.
As I thought about writing this post about one of my favorite fall pieces I begin to think about what fall really means. Fall is the time of year people start collecting a harvest from the seeds they planted. I thought about the seeds I’ve planted in my life and ultimately the seeds I wish I planted and I begin going down the dangerous road of my past and what if. What if I would have started this blog in 2009, where would I be now? What if I would have not moved or what if I had made different decisions regarding my life. Would I be where I think I should be? Truth is I will NEVER know and another truth is I have to believe I am on the path that God wants me to be on. I may have not made the best decisions or I may have procrastinated on different things but that doesn’t mean I’m doomed or that I still will not reap a good harvest in my life. So stop looking at the woulda, coulda, shoulda and start making thoughtful decisions NOW because we cannot change our past. We can definitely learn from it but we should not dwell in it and let it make us feel bad or sorry for ourselves. I’m just gonna enjoy where I am now on the way to where I’m going. Hopefully, you’re doing the same.
Confession time: I love ratchet music and I am definitely one of the many women I know who are feeling that song! I also like Cardi B. I am not a big fan like my girl Ranisha but I always thought she was pretty genuine and real when I watched her on Love and Hip Hop. I immediately thought about her song when I saw this pants on Fashion Nova’s website. But of course they are more of a mustard than a yellow so I had to change the title of this post to match! LOL Of course I snagged a couple of more items so stay tuned to the blog for more.
I had wanted to try the paper bag pants trend for awhile so when they had their 30% off sale a few weeks ago these immediately went into my cart. I love how the pants cinch your waist in! I am not gonna keep ya’ll too long with this post but I missed blogging and I had to share this look!
So what do ya’ll think about Bodak Yellow? My favorite part is when she says she fixed her teeth and it ain’t cheap! HA! Just a little song to take our minds off all that is happening in the world today. Let me know your thoughts on these pants and the song!
As usual I am late to the graphic tee party. I had been on the look out for a graphic tee I liked ever since I saw this post here. I really wanted to showcase how you can dress a simple tee up or down. You know I am all about stretching your wardrobe and your money. I think I achieved that with these two looks. For the first look I paired my tee with simple jeans and my gold sandals. Let me tell you something about me. I am not a fan of silver on myself. It looks pretty on other people but for me gold tones are usually my preference. It’s all about taking what you love and making it work for you when it comes to style. You don’t have to wear something you may not like simply because it looks good on other people or it’s trendy. I would wear this look anywhere, with the kids doing activities, shopping or even a simple movie date. And because the shirt was only $6 I wouldn’t even feel bad about messing it up lol.
For my second look I paired my graphic tee with a pencil skirt and heels. I have to say I was feeling this look. I loved how simple and easy it was to put together but I still felt stylish and chic. The heels added a pop of color as well as my lippie. I would wear this look to happy hour with the girls or a date night out to dinner.
When I saw this shirt it also spoke to me lol. My kids say this is my favorite word but it’s funny because I didn’t always know how to say no. I didn’t realize that there was power for me in saying no, and when I said yes to things I didn’t want to do or have I gave up control. How many times have we as women ran ourselves ragged trying to get things done we never really wanted to do in the first place? *Raises hand* I’ve spent my money (don’t co-sign that loan girl!), my resources and most importantly my time (which you cannot replace) all because I was afraid to say no. I was a people pleaser and I didn’t want someone to not like me because I didn’t want to do what they asked me to. I feared rejection, plain and simple. I had to recognize that it wasn’t my business if people were mad at me because their requests or demands didn’t fit in my agenda. I had to learn if people didn’t want to be my friend or apart of my life because I said no to them then their love or friendship was conditional and I don’t need that anyway. Who wants to always live up to conditions and standards other people place on them and never be able to be human and make mistakes? I realized I had to do what was best for me and learning to say no freed me up for people and activities that benefited my life and guided me toward my purpose. I am not saying don’t do things for people or loved ones but what I am saying is to do those things because you want to and out of love (how many times have we’ve done things we don’t want to and ended up half assing and frustrating ourselves?) Take care of you and regain back your control and time, money, etc. Say no and mean it (be firm but polite and you owe no one any explanations!) And if you still are not sure how to say no, get this t-shirt and just point!
Well I guess that other job isn’t going to work out lol! So I’ll be cute at the one I have for now.
So if you follow me on IG (rickiloves, go follow!) you know I posted yesterday about a possible job change lol. Well the way this body is set up that’s not an option! Also , I can’t dance or shake with any type of coordination so I probably wouldn’t make any money anyway:( I’ll just keep the job I have for now. Even though I don’t love my job I am grateful for employment and to make days better it also helps to be cute and feel good about yourself! I told yall in my last style post I would stretch my wardrobe and switch up my casual look to a more work appropriate one wearing the same jumpsuit from Forever21. To switch it up I pulled out one of my fav basic wardrobe essentials, a belt! I bought this wide brown leather belt a few years ago from the local Express outlet and I love it! It has elastic and a snap closure so it so it can fit me at just about any size but I especially love what it does whenever I wear it: cinches this waist hunny! Who doesn’t like a small waist? I know I do especially after having 4 children (another reason why I couldn’t take the other job)! The belt also helps you look more put together and professional. Go get you one, I’m definitely on the hunt for more!
To help the look be work ready I wore minimal jewelry, put my hair in a bun and added heels.
I work in a business casual enviroment but if you have a more professional dress code add a blazer or cardigan. I hope you like this look and it encourages you to think about different ways to wear the same pieces and stretch your clothes and your budget! Let me know in the comments about what pieces you have that can be worn for work and play.