So I had planned another outfit for this post but last minute I had to pick something else. I couldn’t bring myself to wear much less promote anything from a company that obviously doesn’t want my coins and as a mother of a black son I’m just not here for it. So anyway I really had no idea what I wanted to wear and went to the mall for some inspiration. While browsing the clearance racks I found this gray duster and figured this would work with my favorite skinny jeans and a white shirt. But then it hit me! This outfit is so BASIC. No one will be excited about seeing these pics. I was on the verge of picking something else out, spending coins I shouldn’t when I said to myself this is a cute outfit. Why would I spend money I didn’t need to spend in order to impress anyone? I’m sorry that’s just not what a Seasoned Woman does. So instead I bought it and styled it (if you can even call it that) for the blog. I’m okay with being basic. And here are some reasons why:
Being Basic keeps my coins in my purse- When we try to impress people (people that don’t really care anyway) by being the flashiest or most extra, we are normally spending money we may not even have. Believe me ladies I know, I know. I’ve been the one with the designer bag and high heels trying to be the epitome of the Trina song we know so well. It didn’t do anything but leave me with no money to put in that purse and bad knees. As I’ve gotten more seasoned I’ve become okay with wearing basics. And this doesn’t just apply to clothes. It can happen when you try to be flashy and “front” as we used to say by being at every event knowing full well your gas light in your car is on or trying to keep up with Jones’ and having every cable channel, NBA league pass AND NFL ticket when no one humanly possible even has time to watch all that stuff much less pay for it! Hell I don’t even want cable anymore. I’ll Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime and chill any night. Or read a book (or listen to one).
Being Basic helps me stay in my own lane-A big part of being better (my word for 2018 -see the post here) is to focus on my strengths and improve upon my weaknesses and being basic helps me focus on that. When you’re not try to do all things and be everything and everywhere you learn to focus on what you love and what’s important. Suddenly losing so many loved ones last year helped me regain focus on truly living my life, discovering my passion and loving the ones I’m with.
Being Basic keeps me drama free-Nothing to see here cause I’m basic. When you give them nothing to talk about, there’s nothing to talk about. I’ll just stay over here making my moves in silence. Thanks.
Being Basic makes me unbothered- I don’t let too many things, people or situations bother me anymore. As a seasoned woman I have learned what is and what isn’t worth my time and energy. Sometimes that means being quiet, forgiving the offense and moving on to other things. I’ve also learned that worrying solves nothing and prayer solves everything. Saying just pray about it may be the most basic response someone can give when an issue arises but who can argue that prayer doesn’t work? I’ll wait.
Being Basic gets ish done- When you’re in your own lane, got a few dollars in that basic bag and you’re drama free and unbothered you get finish things. Honestly if I was trying to do the most, this blog post wouldn’t have gotten done. I think we all spend a little too much time on elaborate ideas instead of just executing simple plans, step by step. I always believe the mantra, progress is better than perfection. And who really wants to be fabulous but not moving forward in life. Not saying you shouldn’t present your best but just don’t get caught up that nothing is accomplished. Rather than trying to be the perfect most original blogger ever (in my opinion there is really no original idea only an original you!) I’ll just be basic and live my best life!
Don’t say New Year, New me. You’re already good just be better!
So normally around this time of year everyone is making their New Year resolutions. Well I’m not. I don’t think the beginning of a new year should be an indicator of change. First of all most people are scared of change but it is necessary in life. Without changes there would be no growth. Personally I have learned to embrace change. Without change I wouldn’t have this blog and have met so many wonderful women and men who have helped me grow and learn. So yeah change is scary but it definitely can also be good.
Another thing that a lot of people say this season is new year, new me. To me this is to say the old you isn’t good or something which is totally untrue. I think we are all good people (well most of us, our current world leader is questionable), some of us just get in bad situations, or make not so smart decisions or life just happens and our reactions aren’t well thought out or planned. But we are all still good. So instead of saying new year, new me, say new year, better me. Better decisions, better situations, and better reactions and planning. All that will lead to what I believe the Lord has put in all of us which is greatness! So in 2018, be GREAT!!
So this last minute NYE look is actually not last minute. I’ve had this dress since October from Forever21 (the plus line, it’s a 0x) and these shoes from JustFab for 3 yrs. I added the fur stole (it was on sale under $15) also from Forever21 and the sequined/ velvet clutch is from wait for it…the 99 cent only store! It doesn’t cost a lot to look poppin as the young folks say!!
I hope that you and your loved ones have a safe, happy and prosperous New Year. I will be sipping a little something something from the comfort of my own home for the free 99 but if you turn up make sure to do it responsibly and safely!!!
Satan definitely tried it when I was trying to get this post done! So I had planned this post about 3 weeks ago when I first saw this skirt here. When it went on sale for 50% off I grabbed it and I planned on finding a graphic tee to wear with it. I have fallen in love with graphic tees thanks to my blogger boo Ranisha (check out her blog here, she’s awesome!) but I knew I didn’t just want any shirt, I wanted one with a message or something I really liked. As a seasoned woman I just don’t like to walk around with just anything on my chest. I want people to feel something even if it’s just nostalgia. So I was just about to click the buy button on a Sade T-shirt (and don’t worry I’m still gonna get it lol) but something said hey this would be a chance to style an outfit for church especially with this gorgeous velvet skirt. So I searched some Christian tees on Etsy and this was one of THE first shirts I saw. I knew this was it because I had a friend/co-worker who would always say “Not Today!” whenever his conversation with a client was going in the wrong direction if you catch my drift.
So this is when things went left. I ordered the wrong color shirt. My original vision for this look was a white tee with black writing but oops I don’t think I paid attention when checking out. BUT I didn’t open the package until the day of the shoot. I also planned on wearing a pearl bib necklace with it to dress it up for church but the necklace was so big it covered up the writing. So I took another L and just settled on simple accessories since it was my goal to just get this message across. I struggled y’all because I stayed out too long and my makeup sucked, my wig wouldn’t act right (hence the ponytail) and my photographer failed to tell me one sock was falling down around my ankle. BUT I still fought and pulled thru bc when I heard what happened in my home state of Texas Sunday I knew everyone I could reach needed to see this. The difficulties I ran into were NOTHING! People lost their lives AND the fear of not feeling safe in their place of worship, which should be a sacred place, was felt in the hearts of Americans everywhere. Well I am here to say on my small piece of the web that fear does not exist except when it comes to fearing God and Him only! I still have my faith because I know what God has done for me and delivered me from. With age comes experience and the knowing that this too shall pass. I pray for everyone that was affected and hurt and my prayer is also that we continue to go to our places of worship wherever that may be. Praise and worship confuses the enemy so let’s make sure he stays out the loop. Not today Satan, or tomorrow or ever! I’ll see y’all at church.
Confession time: I love ratchet music and I am definitely one of the many women I know who are feeling that song! I also like Cardi B. I am not a big fan like my girl Ranisha but I always thought she was pretty genuine and real when I watched her on Love and Hip Hop. I immediately thought about her song when I saw this pants on Fashion Nova’s website. But of course they are more of a mustard than a yellow so I had to change the title of this post to match! LOL Of course I snagged a couple of more items so stay tuned to the blog for more.
I had wanted to try the paper bag pants trend for awhile so when they had their 30% off sale a few weeks ago these immediately went into my cart. I love how the pants cinch your waist in! I am not gonna keep ya’ll too long with this post but I missed blogging and I had to share this look!
So what do ya’ll think about Bodak Yellow? My favorite part is when she says she fixed her teeth and it ain’t cheap! HA! Just a little song to take our minds off all that is happening in the world today. Let me know your thoughts on these pants and the song!
As usual I am late to the graphic tee party. I had been on the look out for a graphic tee I liked ever since I saw this post here. I really wanted to showcase how you can dress a simple tee up or down. You know I am all about stretching your wardrobe and your money. I think I achieved that with these two looks. For the first look I paired my tee with simple jeans and my gold sandals. Let me tell you something about me. I am not a fan of silver on myself. It looks pretty on other people but for me gold tones are usually my preference. It’s all about taking what you love and making it work for you when it comes to style. You don’t have to wear something you may not like simply because it looks good on other people or it’s trendy. I would wear this look anywhere, with the kids doing activities, shopping or even a simple movie date. And because the shirt was only $6 I wouldn’t even feel bad about messing it up lol.
For my second look I paired my graphic tee with a pencil skirt and heels. I have to say I was feeling this look. I loved how simple and easy it was to put together but I still felt stylish and chic. The heels added a pop of color as well as my lippie. I would wear this look to happy hour with the girls or a date night out to dinner.
When I saw this shirt it also spoke to me lol. My kids say this is my favorite word but it’s funny because I didn’t always know how to say no. I didn’t realize that there was power for me in saying no, and when I said yes to things I didn’t want to do or have I gave up control. How many times have we as women ran ourselves ragged trying to get things done we never really wanted to do in the first place? *Raises hand* I’ve spent my money (don’t co-sign that loan girl!), my resources and most importantly my time (which you cannot replace) all because I was afraid to say no. I was a people pleaser and I didn’t want someone to not like me because I didn’t want to do what they asked me to. I feared rejection, plain and simple. I had to recognize that it wasn’t my business if people were mad at me because their requests or demands didn’t fit in my agenda. I had to learn if people didn’t want to be my friend or apart of my life because I said no to them then their love or friendship was conditional and I don’t need that anyway. Who wants to always live up to conditions and standards other people place on them and never be able to be human and make mistakes? I realized I had to do what was best for me and learning to say no freed me up for people and activities that benefited my life and guided me toward my purpose. I am not saying don’t do things for people or loved ones but what I am saying is to do those things because you want to and out of love (how many times have we’ve done things we don’t want to and ended up half assing and frustrating ourselves?) Take care of you and regain back your control and time, money, etc. Say no and mean it (be firm but polite and you owe no one any explanations!) And if you still are not sure how to say no, get this t-shirt and just point!
And this jumpsuit is not for me! Happy Friday beautiful people! My family is going thru several transitions this year and one of those changes involves downsizing. To meet a future goal we will be moving into a smaller place temporarily and I honestly am looking forward to it. Less to clean and less expenses and I’m going to enjoy that. I am not however looking forward to a smaller space but I guess you can’t have your cake and eat it too! So I am working on revamping my wardrobe and having less BUT making sure what I have are clothes and shoes I love and make me look and feel great. You will see more of me defining my style and putting together my wardrobe on blog posts to come.
Well I can tell you this jumpsuit is not making the cut. I purchased it over a year ago from the BeBe outlet and I did try it on in the store. I loved it when I tried it on but I didn’t think about the fact that I had a bra on AND that this jumpsuit was backless. When I got it home I tried it on again without the bra and with the way I tied the ties in the back I figured I could make it work. BUT I have never worn this jumpsuit! As excited as I was to get it, it has sat in my closet for a whole year. Everytime I was going somewhere where it would be appropriate to wear this, I passed because I didn’t feel comfortable in it overall. It was not made for women with a larger bust (see the darting in the front pics) and even though it was cute overall, I didn’t feel cute in it. It was hard to find the proper undergarments that would hold me to wear it. I could go without but I realize I am an almost 40 year old woman and in my opinion and with the way gravity works it just would not have been a good look for me! So that leads me to say this: we may love something but it may not be the best for us. Apply this where you want: fashion, people, relationships etc. People may even say it looks good (we’ve all heard y’all are so cute together lol)but only you know what is best for you. So this jumpsuit will be given away or sold and I will be on the search for a more versatile summer jumpsuit that looks good on me AND makes me feel good in it. Ladies, do you have things in your life that you love that don’t work for you? I suggest you really evaluate the benefit and joy you actually get from that thing (or person) and decide if you really have room enough to keep it! Make space for the good things!
So I asked a question on Instagram (follow me!) about what would you like to see on the blog and a dear friend of mine (Hi Daphne!) mentioned she would like to know what were my favorite or best online shopping sites. I got a lot of good feedback but this suggestion stood out since I recently had done some online shopping and I thought I could share my experiences. I want to give you the lowdown on where I shop and how I like it. I’m old school so I enjoy a stroll thru the mall but I have found unless you are catching a really good sale or clearance you can save some coins especially on trendy or popular pieces if you search online. I do shop online at retailers that have brick and mortar stores (Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, H&M) but for purposes of this post I will only be talking about retailers that have online sites only. So let’s get to shopping shall we?
ASOS– This is my fav store. Now let me say this: They are not always the most affordable (they do run many sales though!) but what I love about buying pieces at ASOS is that a lot of their items are so unique. They are items that you won’t find at the stores in the mall and most of the time when I wear their clothes people always want to know where I purchased from. Their sizes run big (which personally I love, makes me feel skinny lol) and all the items I have ever received from them were of good quality. I have a midi skirt that I’ve had about 5 years that I have washed numerous times but still looks good and the material is thick. This is important to me because I want my clothes to look expensive and I wear undergarments and I don’t want my Spanx showing through the material! I would give ASOS an A- and that’s only because their items sell out so quickly otherwise they would get an A+ from me! ASOS has free standard shipping (about 4 business days) to the US for orders over $40 and they have an option for unlimited 2-day express shipping to the US on any size order for $19 a year which to me is totally worth it!
BOOHOO – Boohoo has trendy pieces and are very affordable and what I like about this site is they ALWAYS have a sale! ALWAYS! So if you are looking to try a trend I would suggest you check this site out. Now some of their items tend to run small but I do like that they now have a plus size line. I will also tell you that the saying you get what you pay for is true in the case for some of the pieces I have bought from Boohoo. I recently purchased a duster which I believe I paid a little over ten dollars for but the duster was made of a flimsy material and had no hemming! I also purchased a gorgeous Gingham off the shoulder top which was a nice material (it did run a little small though but I have a larger chest which affects how a lot of my tops fit) and I only paid about fifteen dollars for it so it’s definitely hit or miss when it comes to shopping on this site. My grade for Boohoo would be a B- for the inconsistency but I will continue to shop there if I find an item I truly want and I do really like most of their items. Shipping to the US from Boohoo is free with a $50 order.
SHEIN – You know I had to talk about Shein! You always here me talk about them on the blog because they will give you the designer look on a budget! I have bought many items from them including clothes, shoes and accessories and 80% of the time I have been pleased with my purchases. Shein is a retailer based in Asia and they’re clothes do run small but I have noticed lately they have begun to carry larger sizes and more plus size options. I haven’t purchased pants from them, but I have purchased dresses, tops and skirts and I have liked what I have received. Even though they have many designer “inspired” pieces at low prices that I love I would say when you shop there lower your expectations. I have purchased some pieces that were cute but not what the picture looked like so be aware of that when adding to your cart. She in gets a B from me because I have liked all the things I have gotten from them they just weren’t necessarily what I expected. Standard shipping (6-8 days and remember they’re in Asia!) from She in is free on all orders, no minimum to the US and if you spend over $30 you will get free expedite shipping which is about 4-7 days.
JUSTFAB/SHOEDAZZLE – I am a member for life of the subscription service from Justfab and Shoedazzle (which are the same company basically) and I have bought MANY pairs of shoes, bags and even clothes from them. One of my favorite totes is from Justfab and I only paid $20 and always I receive compliments when I carry it. Now I know many people don’t like the subscription part because you are charged $39.99 monthly which translates to credits to shop with (most of their items are $39.99) but I can honestly say I don’t mind it because I skip almost every month! Set a reminder in your phone ladies (you almost always have your phone right?) This is easy to do and has never failed me. I love the shoes I have received from them and they have really stepped up their game from when they first started with the quality. They also have helpful reviews which I love and really assist me in whether I want to make a purchase. I would like to think of myself as a savvy shopper and I tend to stock up on most of my items from them when they run they’re 50% off sale which they do several times per year. The only issue is they sell out of items fast. I have had my heart broken a few times because I thought I was slick waiting on a sale and ended up not getting the shoe I really wanted! Sometimes it’s worth the $40 bucks! Also, JustFab’s customer service and customer rewards with coupons and special sales and discount codes has kept me shopping there since 2012. AND last fall I attended a members only dinner here in Houston where they surveyed us on what we want and gave us lots of cool gifts ($$$). JustFab and Shoedazzle get an A from me because I love shoes (you can never feel fat and ugly in cute shoes!) and they really deliver cute, trendy, classic and affordable styles. Shipping with Justfab and Shoedazzle is free with a $39.99 purchase. I have included my referral link HERE if you would like to join and if you do in full disclosure I do get a $15 credit to help me keep bringing cuteness on my feet!
Well there are many other places I have tried but the four I mentioned above have been my go to for years and I wanted to share my true thoughts on them with you. If you shopped at any of these places or have an online store you think I should try let me know in the comments!