So I had planned another outfit for this post but last minute I had to pick something else. I couldn’t bring myself to wear much less promote anything from a company that obviously doesn’t want my coins and as a mother of a black son I’m just not here for it. So anyway I really had no idea what I wanted to wear and went to the mall for some inspiration. While browsing the clearance racks I found this gray duster and figured this would work with my favorite skinny jeans and a white shirt. But then it hit me! This outfit is so BASIC. No one will be excited about seeing these pics. I was on the verge of picking something else out, spending coins I shouldn’t when I said to myself this is a cute outfit. Why would I spend money I didn’t need to spend in order to impress anyone? I’m sorry that’s just not what a Seasoned Woman does. So instead I bought it and styled it (if you can even call it that) for the blog. I’m okay with being basic. And here are some reasons why:
Being Basic keeps my coins in my purse- When we try to impress people (people that don’t really care anyway) by being the flashiest or most extra, we are normally spending money we may not even have. Believe me ladies I know, I know. I’ve been the one with the designer bag and high heels trying to be the epitome of the Trina song we know so well. It didn’t do anything but leave me with no money to put in that purse and bad knees. As I’ve gotten more seasoned I’ve become okay with wearing basics. And this doesn’t just apply to clothes. It can happen when you try to be flashy and “front” as we used to say by being at every event knowing full well your gas light in your car is on or trying to keep up with Jones’ and having every cable channel, NBA league pass AND NFL ticket when no one humanly possible even has time to watch all that stuff much less pay for it! Hell I don’t even want cable anymore. I’ll Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime and chill any night. Or read a book (or listen to one).
Being Basic helps me stay in my own lane-A big part of being better (my word for 2018 -see the post here) is to focus on my strengths and improve upon my weaknesses and being basic helps me focus on that. When you’re not try to do all things and be everything and everywhere you learn to focus on what you love and what’s important. Suddenly losing so many loved ones last year helped me regain focus on truly living my life, discovering my passion and loving the ones I’m with.
Being Basic keeps me drama free-Nothing to see here cause I’m basic. When you give them nothing to talk about, there’s nothing to talk about. I’ll just stay over here making my moves in silence. Thanks.
Being Basic makes me unbothered- I don’t let too many things, people or situations bother me anymore. As a seasoned woman I have learned what is and what isn’t worth my time and energy. Sometimes that means being quiet, forgiving the offense and moving on to other things. I’ve also learned that worrying solves nothing and prayer solves everything. Saying just pray about it may be the most basic response someone can give when an issue arises but who can argue that prayer doesn’t work? I’ll wait.
Being Basic gets ish done- When you’re in your own lane, got a few dollars in that basic bag and you’re drama free and unbothered you get finish things. Honestly if I was trying to do the most, this blog post wouldn’t have gotten done. I think we all spend a little too much time on elaborate ideas instead of just executing simple plans, step by step. I always believe the mantra, progress is better than perfection. And who really wants to be fabulous but not moving forward in life. Not saying you shouldn’t present your best but just don’t get caught up that nothing is accomplished. Rather than trying to be the perfect most original blogger ever (in my opinion there is really no original idea only an original you!) I’ll just be basic and live my best life!
My closet is definitely something I am working on this year and this dress was a must have!
So probably by this date you are sick about hearing about goals and all that jazz so I won’t carry on or be long today. All I want to say is that you can write your goals down, pray over them, memorize and meditate over them whatever you do but none of that means anything if you don’t take action! Those same goals will be sitting in that pretty planner until next year and the year after that until you get up and start taking some steps even if they’re tiny ones. I think everyone wants to talk about the pretty side of goal setting but you have to know that nothing works until you do. And that may mean sacrificing time or money on other things or doing something toward your goal when you don’t feel like it (kind of how I felt today lol) but I say if you REALLY want something you’ll do whatever it takes. So go ahead and write that goal down (and subscribe to the blog so you can get your goal action plan download 😉 but make sure you put in the work too!!!
Now on to this dress hunny!!! This dress was definitely apart of my closet goals. To me closet goals is being able to go into my closet and wear whatever is there and look and feel good in it. No more never feeling like I have anything cute to wear! Am I the only one that feels like that? Anyways I absolutely love this dress except even though it fits everywhere else it is quite snug around my chest. Ugh!!! Fashion retailers if you’re listening you need to create sizing for us larger busted women. Okay rant over now let me tell you why this dress is amazing. First the pattern is classic and it’s a midi length shirt dress so it’s perfect for the office or church but I certainly think that you can dress it down for a brunch or happy hour (check out that split). And this Zara beauty is also goals because I can rock it with boots now but later in the spring some sandals and a colorful belt would look good too. You will definitely see me in this again just in a different way. Now tell me do you have closet goals too?
Don’t say New Year, New me. You’re already good just be better!
So normally around this time of year everyone is making their New Year resolutions. Well I’m not. I don’t think the beginning of a new year should be an indicator of change. First of all most people are scared of change but it is necessary in life. Without changes there would be no growth. Personally I have learned to embrace change. Without change I wouldn’t have this blog and have met so many wonderful women and men who have helped me grow and learn. So yeah change is scary but it definitely can also be good.
Another thing that a lot of people say this season is new year, new me. To me this is to say the old you isn’t good or something which is totally untrue. I think we are all good people (well most of us, our current world leader is questionable), some of us just get in bad situations, or make not so smart decisions or life just happens and our reactions aren’t well thought out or planned. But we are all still good. So instead of saying new year, new me, say new year, better me. Better decisions, better situations, and better reactions and planning. All that will lead to what I believe the Lord has put in all of us which is greatness! So in 2018, be GREAT!!
So this last minute NYE look is actually not last minute. I’ve had this dress since October from Forever21 (the plus line, it’s a 0x) and these shoes from JustFab for 3 yrs. I added the fur stole (it was on sale under $15) also from Forever21 and the sequined/ velvet clutch is from wait for it…the 99 cent only store! It doesn’t cost a lot to look poppin as the young folks say!!
I hope that you and your loved ones have a safe, happy and prosperous New Year. I will be sipping a little something something from the comfort of my own home for the free 99 but if you turn up make sure to do it responsibly and safely!!!
So I asked a question on Instagram (follow me!) about what would you like to see on the blog and a dear friend of mine (Hi Daphne!) mentioned she would like to know what were my favorite or best online shopping sites. I got a lot of good feedback but this suggestion stood out since I recently had done some online shopping and I thought I could share my experiences. I want to give you the lowdown on where I shop and how I like it. I’m old school so I enjoy a stroll thru the mall but I have found unless you are catching a really good sale or clearance you can save some coins especially on trendy or popular pieces if you search online. I do shop online at retailers that have brick and mortar stores (Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, H&M) but for purposes of this post I will only be talking about retailers that have online sites only. So let’s get to shopping shall we?
ASOS– This is my fav store. Now let me say this: They are not always the most affordable (they do run many sales though!) but what I love about buying pieces at ASOS is that a lot of their items are so unique. They are items that you won’t find at the stores in the mall and most of the time when I wear their clothes people always want to know where I purchased from. Their sizes run big (which personally I love, makes me feel skinny lol) and all the items I have ever received from them were of good quality. I have a midi skirt that I’ve had about 5 years that I have washed numerous times but still looks good and the material is thick. This is important to me because I want my clothes to look expensive and I wear undergarments and I don’t want my Spanx showing through the material! I would give ASOS an A- and that’s only because their items sell out so quickly otherwise they would get an A+ from me! ASOS has free standard shipping (about 4 business days) to the US for orders over $40 and they have an option for unlimited 2-day express shipping to the US on any size order for $19 a year which to me is totally worth it!
BOOHOO – Boohoo has trendy pieces and are very affordable and what I like about this site is they ALWAYS have a sale! ALWAYS! So if you are looking to try a trend I would suggest you check this site out. Now some of their items tend to run small but I do like that they now have a plus size line. I will also tell you that the saying you get what you pay for is true in the case for some of the pieces I have bought from Boohoo. I recently purchased a duster which I believe I paid a little over ten dollars for but the duster was made of a flimsy material and had no hemming! I also purchased a gorgeous Gingham off the shoulder top which was a nice material (it did run a little small though but I have a larger chest which affects how a lot of my tops fit) and I only paid about fifteen dollars for it so it’s definitely hit or miss when it comes to shopping on this site. My grade for Boohoo would be a B- for the inconsistency but I will continue to shop there if I find an item I truly want and I do really like most of their items. Shipping to the US from Boohoo is free with a $50 order.
SHEIN – You know I had to talk about Shein! You always here me talk about them on the blog because they will give you the designer look on a budget! I have bought many items from them including clothes, shoes and accessories and 80% of the time I have been pleased with my purchases. Shein is a retailer based in Asia and they’re clothes do run small but I have noticed lately they have begun to carry larger sizes and more plus size options. I haven’t purchased pants from them, but I have purchased dresses, tops and skirts and I have liked what I have received. Even though they have many designer “inspired” pieces at low prices that I love I would say when you shop there lower your expectations. I have purchased some pieces that were cute but not what the picture looked like so be aware of that when adding to your cart. She in gets a B from me because I have liked all the things I have gotten from them they just weren’t necessarily what I expected. Standard shipping (6-8 days and remember they’re in Asia!) from She in is free on all orders, no minimum to the US and if you spend over $30 you will get free expedite shipping which is about 4-7 days.
JUSTFAB/SHOEDAZZLE – I am a member for life of the subscription service from Justfab and Shoedazzle (which are the same company basically) and I have bought MANY pairs of shoes, bags and even clothes from them. One of my favorite totes is from Justfab and I only paid $20 and always I receive compliments when I carry it. Now I know many people don’t like the subscription part because you are charged $39.99 monthly which translates to credits to shop with (most of their items are $39.99) but I can honestly say I don’t mind it because I skip almost every month! Set a reminder in your phone ladies (you almost always have your phone right?) This is easy to do and has never failed me. I love the shoes I have received from them and they have really stepped up their game from when they first started with the quality. They also have helpful reviews which I love and really assist me in whether I want to make a purchase. I would like to think of myself as a savvy shopper and I tend to stock up on most of my items from them when they run they’re 50% off sale which they do several times per year. The only issue is they sell out of items fast. I have had my heart broken a few times because I thought I was slick waiting on a sale and ended up not getting the shoe I really wanted! Sometimes it’s worth the $40 bucks! Also, JustFab’s customer service and customer rewards with coupons and special sales and discount codes has kept me shopping there since 2012. AND last fall I attended a members only dinner here in Houston where they surveyed us on what we want and gave us lots of cool gifts ($$$). JustFab and Shoedazzle get an A from me because I love shoes (you can never feel fat and ugly in cute shoes!) and they really deliver cute, trendy, classic and affordable styles. Shipping with Justfab and Shoedazzle is free with a $39.99 purchase. I have included my referral link HERE if you would like to join and if you do in full disclosure I do get a $15 credit to help me keep bringing cuteness on my feet!
Well there are many other places I have tried but the four I mentioned above have been my go to for years and I wanted to share my true thoughts on them with you. If you shopped at any of these places or have an online store you think I should try let me know in the comments!