life lessons

Life Update: Where I have been

Hi y’all! So it’s been awhile since I updated the blog on my life so I thought I would share with whoever still reads this (and I appreciate you!) where I have been. It’s been a lot but I can say I’m still very blessed!

In 2022 I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer. I found out when I had some persistent abdominal pain and visited urgent care. It was discovered I had a large mass in my colon and a small nodule in my lung meaning the cancer has spread. Thankfully after 13 rounds of chemotherapy and 2 major surgeries all the cancer has been removed and I have been cancer free for almost 2 years in April. I am immensely grateful to be here with my family and loved ones and healthy again.

While rebuilding my life after cancer my relationship ended and I focused on myself. I lost weight, had fun with my friends and family & lived and enjoyed life again. I started dating again in October 2023 and in November I met the man that I would go on to marry. Yes I’m a (re)married woman now! Lol. My husband and I married in November of last year and it’s been great although something I’ve been getting used to because your girl was single for a long time!

And now 3 of the 4 several people (my children) are grown and we’ve added 2 bonus children (twins! My stepchildren) and my grandson who will be 1 year old in April. I am so grateful and happy to see my family grow!

So I share this update to let you know things can get better. With trust in God, and surrendering to His plan your life can do a complete 180. I am grateful for the hand He had on my life from leading me and blessing me to a great medical team to sending me a husband who truly loves and adores me & mine. Know that circumstances do not matter and are only temporary. It starts with you believing, keeping the faith and loving yourself. I know that sounds corny, I used to think so too but it really is the truth. Ask me how I know!

Love Ricki

She’s Basic: 5 Reasons I’m okay with being Basic

It’s okay to be basic

So I had planned another outfit for this post but last minute I had to pick something else. I couldn’t bring myself to wear much less promote anything from a company that obviously doesn’t want my coins and as a mother of a black son I’m just not here for it. So anyway I really had no idea what I wanted to wear and went to the mall for some inspiration. While browsing the clearance racks I found this gray duster and figured this would work with my favorite skinny jeans and a white shirt. But then it hit me! This outfit is so BASIC. No one will be excited about seeing these pics. I was on the verge of picking something else out, spending coins I shouldn’t when I said to myself this is a cute outfit. Why would I spend money I didn’t need to spend in order to impress anyone? I’m sorry that’s just not what a Seasoned Woman does. So instead I bought it and styled it (if you can even call it that) for the blog. I’m okay with being basic. And here are some reasons why:

Being Basic keeps my coins in my purse- When we try to impress people (people that don’t really care anyway) by being the flashiest or most extra, we are normally spending money we may not even have. Believe me ladies I know, I know. I’ve been the one with the designer bag and high heels trying to be the epitome of the Trina song we know so well. It didn’t do anything but leave me with no money to put in that purse and bad knees. As I’ve gotten more seasoned I’ve become okay with wearing basics. And this doesn’t just apply to clothes. It can happen when you try to be flashy and “front” as we used to say by being at every event knowing full well your gas light in your car is on or trying to keep up with Jones’ and having every cable channel, NBA league pass AND NFL ticket when no one humanly possible even has time to watch all that stuff much less pay for it! Hell I don’t even want cable anymore. I’ll Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime and chill any night. Or read a book (or listen to one).
Being Basic helps me stay in my own lane-A big part of being better (my word for 2018 -see the post here) is to focus on my strengths and improve upon my weaknesses and being basic helps me focus on that. When you’re not try to do all things and be everything and everywhere you learn to focus on what you love and what’s important. Suddenly losing so many loved ones last year helped me regain focus on truly living my life, discovering my passion and loving the ones I’m with.
Being Basic keeps me drama free-Nothing to see here cause I’m basic. When you give them nothing to talk about, there’s nothing to talk about. I’ll just stay over here making my moves in silence. Thanks.
Being Basic makes me unbothered- I don’t let too many things, people or situations bother me anymore. As a seasoned woman I have learned what is and what isn’t worth my time and energy. Sometimes that means being quiet, forgiving the offense and moving on to other things. I’ve also learned that worrying solves nothing and prayer solves everything. Saying just pray about it may be the most basic response someone can give when an issue arises but who can argue that prayer doesn’t work? I’ll wait.
Being Basic gets ish done- When you’re in your own lane, got a few dollars in that basic bag and you’re drama free and unbothered you get finish things. Honestly if I was trying to do the most, this blog post wouldn’t have gotten done. I think we all spend a little too much time on elaborate ideas instead of just executing simple plans, step by step. I always believe the mantra, progress is better than perfection. And who really wants to be fabulous but not moving forward in life. Not saying you shouldn’t present your best but just don’t get caught up that nothing is accomplished. Rather than trying to be the perfect most original blogger ever (in my opinion there is really no original idea only an original you!) I’ll just be basic and live my best life!

Love Ricki

Just say…Nope!

AirBrush_20170718173830

As usual I am late to the graphic tee party. I had been on the look out for a graphic tee I liked ever since I saw this post here. I really wanted to showcase how you can dress a simple tee up or down. You know I am all about stretching your wardrobe and your money. I think I achieved that with these two looks. For the first look I paired my tee with simple jeans and my gold sandals. Let me tell you something about me. I am not a fan of silver on myself. It looks pretty on other people but for me gold tones are usually my preference. It’s all about taking what you love and making it work for you when it comes to style. You don’t have to wear something you may not like simply because it looks good on other people or it’s trendy. I would wear this look anywhere, with the kids doing activities, shopping or even a simple movie date. And because the shirt was only $6 I wouldn’t even feel bad about messing it up lol.

AirBrush_20170718201738 — T-shirt: Forever 21 Jeans: Fashion Nova Sandals: Shein

AirBrush_20170718200628 AirBrush_20170718200511

For my second look I paired my graphic tee with a pencil skirt and heels. I have to say I was feeling this look. I loved how simple and easy it was to put together but I still felt stylish and chic. The heels added a pop of color as well as my lippie. I would wear this look to happy hour with the girls or a date night out to dinner.

AirBrush_20170719065816 — Skirt: Asos, old similar here Shoes: Shoedazzle

AirBrush_20170718203159 AirBrush_20170718201146 AirBrush_20170718201640

When I saw this shirt it also spoke to me lol. My kids say this is my favorite word but it’s funny because I didn’t always know how to say no. I didn’t realize that there was power for me in saying no, and when I said yes to things I didn’t want to do or have I gave up control. How many times have we as women ran ourselves ragged trying to get things done we never really wanted to do in the first place? *Raises hand* I’ve spent my money (don’t co-sign that loan girl!), my resources and most importantly my time (which you cannot replace) all because I was afraid to say no. I was a people pleaser and I didn’t want someone to not like me because I didn’t want to do what they asked me to. I feared rejection, plain and simple. I had to recognize that it wasn’t my business if people were mad at me because their requests or demands didn’t fit in my agenda. I had to learn if people didn’t want to be my friend or apart of my life because I said no to them then their love or friendship was conditional and I don’t need that anyway. Who wants to always live up to conditions and standards other people place on them and never be able to be human and make mistakes? I realized I had to do what was best for me and learning to say no freed me up for people and activities that benefited my life and guided me toward my purpose. I am not saying don’t do things for people or loved ones but what I am saying is to do those things because you want to and out of love (how many times have we’ve done things we don’t want to and ended up half assing and frustrating ourselves?) Take care of you and regain back your control and time, money, etc. Say no and mean it (be firm but polite and you owe no one any explanations!) And if you still are not sure how to say no, get this t-shirt and just point!

AirBrush_20170718200434

Love Ricki